“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 ESV

Fall is slowly coming in SC. I was out walking one morning and saw this holly bush heavy burdened with berries. In a couple of months they will be the familiar red berries everyone sees at Christmas time. It reminded me of myself to some degree.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like God is moving me from one season of my life to another, especially in the realm of ministry. The Spirit has had me observing the subtle changes of fall and applying what I observe to how God is working in my life. I am in the place of in-between and waiting as patiently as I know how to step into my next phase, whatever and wherever that leads me.

By almost every spiritual gift analysis I have ever taken, I am a heavily gifted person. I understand that fully and I also know that I have not been fully active in some of those gifts. Perhaps this partly to a lag in faith on my part, but more importantly, I see it as a situation where God has been developing other gifts to build me up to the place where I am fully active in all the gifts (if that makes sense). It is an error I see some take — to see what their gifting is, then declare them and try to engage in all of them without letting God grow us and ripen us for the right season. I have been watching myself ripen in the gifts that I have been engaged in, but there are more that God needs to finish ripening in order for me to be the most effective servant possible.

These green holly berries are truly plentiful but they are not ripe yet. They need to remain on the bush a little longer, receive nutrients from the bush, be bathed in the autumn sunlight and yes, endure a cold snap or two with heavy frost before they will come to be the plump red berries that we like to see decorate our homes with at Christmas. Without going through the natural process of ripening, they will rot or fall off the bush before time. They are in the in-between stages of existing but not yet in season. Jesus gives us a beautiful example of how we are to grow in Christ and in our faith walk. First, we must be attached (salvation), then we have to grow (spiritual formation activities) and then we will bear fruit (discipleship). None of this happens if we don’t take part in a seemingly idle activity – abiding. Abiding simply means to remain. We remain in Christ when we participate in fellowship, pray, worship, meditate and study God’s word. We remain in Christ when we trust Him in the hardest of times and delight in Him in the best of times. It seems like a simple enough task, but the throws of life can make it very difficult. Our own doubts, fears and faltering faith make it very difficult. But the promise here is that if we remain in Christ, we will bring forth an abundance of fruit that will cause others to turn to Christ. The caveat is in the last part of the verse. When we don’t abide in Him, nothing of any spiritual good will come from us. We will be like berries that rot on the branch or fall to the ground. It seems like such a waste of energy to let that happen. And when I consider my personal spiritual growth, the place where I am now of in-between, I will continue to wait patiently for the changes that are coming because I want to be fully ripened to do all that He has for me to do.

“Now we have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us.” 2 Cor. 4:7

Ever since I was a child I collected “treasures”. My treasures were never gold, silver or jewels but natural objects that caught my attention as I wandered through woods, streams and anywhere I went. I have always been fascinated with rocks and shells. But I will collect feathers and leaves and sticks as well. To the ordinary eye they may look rather ordinary, but in my eyes they are wonderful moments of awe at God’s creation. The collecting has not really stopped, just scaled back in adult life. Now I keep a tray on my art table of these treasures. They are reminders of moments in time, paths I have walked or the sheer wonder of God’s creation. My daughter came by one day and noticed my little treasure box and she was thrilled to see it and to know that she was not alone in her treasure hunting either.

When I pick up these various items and examine them, they often have rough exteriors and imperfections but there is a unique quality in each of them that caused me to take notice of them in the first place. Jesus would use finding treasures as a parabolic teaching to understand how precious God’s word is to us (Matt. 13:45-46;Luke 15:8-10). But He would also warn us to not store up treasures on earth and miss the treasure of heaven (Matt. 6:19-21) and to be mindful that out of the treasures of our heart our mouths will speak (Matt. 12:33-37). But one of my favorite texts about treasures comes from 2 Corinthians where Paul is explaining who he is in ministry and really who all of us are in God’s sight if we are choosing to live for Him.

The treasure is Christ living on the inside through the Holy Spirit. God saw fit to hide this treasure in meek and simple vessels like our weak and worn bodies. The purpose is not to hide it from the world for fear of it being stolen. No, the purpose is to cause those who will search beneath the surface of our circumstances, weaknesses, confusion and despair to see the real sustaining power of Christ at work in us and through us. This power will cause us to smile at those who persecute, press forward when pushed backwards, and get up when we receive life threatening blows. Most jewels are hidden in dingy rocks, gold has to be mined and silver has to be refined. So those who have Jesus living on the inside are precious jewels and metals in God’s sight, we just happened to be dressed in earthly bodies that are prone to wear and tear, imperfect shapes and sizes. We are the vessels of God’s heavenly treasure waiting to be unearthed to show forth His love and power to any and all who will look and see.

The Lord spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, “The Israelites shall camp each in their respective regiments, under ensigns by their ancestral houses” Numbers 2:1-2a NRSVue

My Dad died nearly eight years ago and left behind a mountain of pictures, family letters, documents and memorabilia, that when it came time to divide up the estate, landed in my hands to take care of. It sat in boxes in my garage for several years before I divided the items up and put them in proper storage crates. Then one day my daughter came by and began to ask questions about my grandmothers and their personalities. My maternal grandmother was fairly easy to determine since I spent a good bit of time with her in my childhood, but my paternal grandmother was more of an enigma, since there were clear issues between my parents and her. This prompted me to open up the storage boxes and begin to read some old letters that revealed secrets and things I never knew about my parents and my grandmother. I began to see her in a new light that I really could rally around and champion her position in the family like never before. After spending hours reading and organizing these letters, I realized that there was a whole ancestral tree I never knew and the best way to get to know it was to tackle those mounds of pictures and documents I set aside years ago. The other thing I realized was that ancestry is to be shared. So it has now become a project of not just sorting and organizing, but figuring out which of the various family members will benefit from receiving some of these items.

Numbers is one of those books in the Bible that quite frankly, we choose not to read or skim over it quickly. All the names, lists of numbers etc. are not the exciting stories we look to for a source of spiritual inspiration. We might read some of the follow-up accounts of the activities of the Israelites in their wandering like the spies scouting the Promised Land or the revolt of Korah, but for the most part, we ignore this book. I felt this way about Numbers for a long time, until I received it as part of Bible Study subscription service and was reminded that even though the names many not mean anything to me, nor the numbers have any great impact on me, the long lists inform me that there were real people struggling to make it to the Promised Land and God saw fit to include their names in the book. Isn’t that sort of our reality also?

Most of us are just going through our days, and if we are Christians, we are striving to live to make heaven our home one day. We most likely will never see our names in lights or on TV for the great ministries we do in our common lives, but God sees us and God has us written down in His eternal book (Rev. 20:11-15). Furthermore, according to Revelation, the day will come that everyone’s name will be reviewed in the book of life and the book of deeds and our eternal destination will be determined by what is written there. Many will rely on the faith of their ancestors to get them to heaven and some will follow their ancestry straight to hell. That is what is clear to me when I read the Bible.

However, as I have been digging through the mountain of things from my father’s family, I am discovering that my ancestry has helped to shape me. I am finding a strong spiritual connection in my ancestors that helps me better understand the Christian background that I come from, even if it was hidden for years. Christian; this is what I view as my ancestral ensign or banner, not one of names but of faith. I cannot rely on that ancestry for my own salvation and eternity, I have to have my own path for that. I can also see now that what God instructed Moses to do, was not so much for Moses’ benefit but for us to see that God is involved in even the most minute details of our lives and that everyone is important to God. And my going through the mountain of papers and pictures and memorabilia is not so much for my benefit but for the generations to come. This is why I have put myself to the task of sorting, organizing and sharing what I find.

“And he took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village, and when he had spit on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, “Do you see anything?” And he looked up and said, “I see people, but they look like trees, walking.”Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes again; and he opened his eyes, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly.” Mark 8:23-25 (ESV)

I jumped back into the pool again to get my laps in for the day. As I was swimming along, I realized that the bottom of the pool was so much clearer to see than when I swam in it a couple of years ago. I also noticed that even through the fog of my goggles, I could see the clock on the wall even better than the last time I remembered swimming. Then it hit me, I had not been swimming in this particular pool since before I had cataract surgery almost two years ago. After that surgery, I put down my glasses for near-sightedness and began only using reading glasses. It took some time for everyone to adjust to seeing me without glasses and it took some time for me to adjust to it as well. In the moment when I realized I could see clearly in the pool, I was reminded of the narrative in Mark above.

Jesus had the ability to heal the sick and give sight to the blind in any way that he wanted to. In another incident, he told a blind man to wash his eyes in the Pool of Siloam (John 9:7). But here, Jesus decided to use his own spit. The surprising part of this text is that it would appear to not have worked on the first try. I don’t think that is the case. With the narrative in John, the name of the pool meant “sent” and the man went and came back seeing. But here the man has a gradual return of his sight. At first, everything was blurry and then he could see clearly. What I think Jesus is showing us is that sometimes, and maybe depending on our level of faith, God has to gradually move us to the place he needs us to be. He meets us where we are on this journey called faith. Either way, the end result was a clearer vision physically and also a clear vision spiritually. Whether we are the type of person who believes on the word go or whether we are someone who needs to gradually believe, this shows me the patience, love and grace of God at work in bringing us into a full and clear vision of who God is. It also teaches me, that I should exhibit the same patience, love and grace with my fellow mankind.

Physically, the cataract surgery was one eye at a time. That meant the first eye was seeing a day after the surgery but I had to wait a full week before the other eye could be worked on. In between, the world through my eyes was a bit out of focus and I was a bit out of balance. But after the second surgery, I was stunned by just how clear everything looked. I had almost forgotten the transformation, until I got back in the pool to swim. As I contemplated that while swimming, I thought about how, lately, my life journey has opened my eyes to certain characteristics I have and experiences that shaped my life and it has given me a renewed clarity for purpose and direction in my life. I can see clearly now that God has been at work in my life through it all with patience, love and grace. I can see clearly now.

It was another Tuesday morning and the scale was not my friend, again. It felt like years of hard work was slipping through my fingers, and now bound by a foot that cannot get this body out to exercise like I had in the past, and over a year of being on a weight plateau, things were moving in the wrong direction. Determined to get to the heart of the matter, I dressed and prepared myself for the anticipated appointment with an endocrinologist to review some wonky numbers that just maybe were the culprit to my dilemma. After a careful review of my lab work, and some open ended questions to find out why I was in her office, she explained to me that while she could put me on medication, it was not the best solution. I was all for that! She gave me a mini-lecture on how the mind works and how it can impact so many other anatomical systems in our bodies, then she gave me simple things to do, that will probably kick my metabolism back into gear again. Much of what she was telling me, I basically knew or confirmed the things that I believed were true. I assured her that my goal was not to medicate the problem and thus mask it; but I wanted answers and an understanding of what was at the heart of the matter. Then she gave me one of the most freeing pieces of advise that no doctor had dared to say before, she gave me a weight number that would be good for me as my top-end number. She also expressed that should I follow her advise, in six months, not only would I see it on the scale but also in my lab work.

This was a lesson to myself that sometimes I can make the best laid plans for myself, based on whatever data I have collected and decided would be the path I should take. Perhaps you see the problem with the last sentence. It is the frequency of the first person pronouns. My weight loss journey was prompted upon medical advise. Since the doctor is a solid Christian man, I believed God was directing my path and it worked. Somewhere along the way, as I encountered injuries and disruptions to my plan, my body began to revolt and try to get me back to my top most weight. This time, the same Christian doctor seemed reluctant to make the referral, but I insisted. Just like the Spirit had informed me about my stress fracture, I felt the Spirit was driving me to see this doctor. At first, I didn’t hear from the specialist’s office. When I called to see what was up with my appointment, I was told someone would get back to me. When the referral clerk called, she said that there were no regular openings until September but there was a cancellation and I snatched it up. When I finally met the doctor, I realized that it was all guided by God’s hand to re-direct my path and my thinking. In that moment, I came to terms with my own body, mind and soul and recognized that all of my efforts were in vain. He is guiding me to a new more sustainable path to wellness that is uniquely fitted to my stature, age and genetics.

I realized that while I was put on this path originally by God, somewhere along the way, I filtered in my own thoughts and actions to fit God’s plan into my ideals. The last two years have been filled with a series of physical issues, that individually are minor and collectively are annoying. Instead of taking the time to really pray and contemplate why I was having all these things happening, I kept pressing to get over one issue after the other so that “I could get back into my routines”. I was not taking into account that my lifestyle was changing due to retirement or that I am getting older. The stress fracture was the catalyst to make me slow down and really turn to God. He is still working on me. In this moment and season where I am forced to move at a slower pace, I acknowledge that He is at work in this process. I am already experiencing moments where the Spirit is directing my paths. While I don’t know the exact destination this is all leading me to, I am trusting and believing that God is working it all out and making it straight and clear to me.

The truth is that this is just one moment of revelation. Over time, as is the case with these human minds, I may override God with my own thoughts of what to do and how to do things. I am writing this as much to myself, to remind myself of this moment so that perhaps, if or when I get off the path again, I won’t be so stubborn or slow to remember God and to let Him direct my ways. Though, I want to believe I’ve learned my lesson once and for all.

What happened on Wednesday in Holy Week? Specifically what happened with Jesus on Wednesday? A review of the Gospels does not specifically say nor can any of the activities of Jesus be tied to Wednesday. Matthew 26:2 and Mark 14:1 both indicate that at the end of Tuesday, Jesus states that the Passover will be in two days (Matt. 26:2) and the narrative in Mark states the Feast of Unleavened Bread was in two days. The next part of the narrative happens while Jesus was in Bethany with his friends Lazarus, Martha and Mary in the home of Simon the Leper (Matt. 26:6; Mark 14:3). During the meal a woman presents Jesus with an alabaster jar to anoint his feet, which created quite a stir among the disciples, citing the waste of money that could be used to help the poor. Jesus responds to leave the woman alone because she is doing for him what will not be done to prepare his body for burial (Matt.26:12-13; Mark:14:6-9) and in John’s narrative it is Mary (12:7-8). Soon afterwards Judas Iscariot would finalize his deal to betray Jesus with 30 pieces of silver. This is the only narrative that logically falls on Tuesday night or Wednesday.

There is no teaching, no challenges from the temple authorities, no healings or any of the other many activities that are recorded on Sunday through Tuesday or Thursday through Friday. It seems that Jesus is enjoying a friendly meal with His Twelve and some close friends. It seems that He has no care in the world or concern for what is inevitably about to happen. Instead, He seems to be relishing a good meal in good company. Therein, I believe is a valuable lesson for us all on what appears to be a rather innocuous and ordinary day in the life of Jesus the man. That lesson is to take time out from our busy schedules, our perceived missional work and enjoy the moment that is presented to us. I think the lesson also is reflective of what Jesus practiced regularly, the spiritual discipline of Sabbath rest.

Jesus, part of the God head, knew what lay ahead. He knew the betrayal was in the works, the arrest in the garden would scatter the Twelve, the kangaroo courts all night long would lead Him to a whip lashing, a cross and death. And even if God did not reveal the resurrection to Jesus until the Garden of Gethsemane prayer (which is strictly a speculation of possibilities on my part), He knew that God had an ultimate plan beyond the cross and He trusted His Father with that plan. In that moment it seems that with all that He knew, it was equally, if not more important, to spend some quality time with the people closest to Him in the ministry in a brief moment of pleasant fellowship. The food and the fellowship provided a momentary respite from the wear and tear of ministry. This quiet break from the ministry was probably supplying him with the much needed physical strength He would need to endure the rest of the week ahead.

It teaches me as a minister and leader, that it is important to make room for family and friends and to be fully involved in those moments. It teaches me that when I know I am about to face some ministry challenges or hectic schedules, it is important to take a little time off to gather my strength and thoughts. It teaches me that everyday does not have to be full of ministry activities and that private time with the people I love and with God are as much a spiritual discipline as my prayer, Bible Study and devotional time. It also teaches me not to worry about what comes next, even if God has given me the revelation of what that may be or how difficult the road may be, but to trust God that He has a plan that will work out for my good and His glory. I can imagine that as that dark Friday came to a close, as the Twelve thought about what had transpired, they also had to remember this very precious and intimate moment they shared with Jesus. Except for Judas who clearly regretted his decision, I would like to believe that the rest of them could take comfort in knowing that they had this one last fellowship meal outside the ministry activities to be with their friend, Jesus. And that is a lesson we all can take away from this Wednesday moment, let us frame our lives in such a way that we can reflect with a smile the moments we spend with each other as colleagues, family and friends.

What seems like on an uneventful Wednesday really was a sweet moment for the memory books for those in the room. We really don’t know, because it is not clearly stated but as we go through this Holy Week, let us consider what happened on Wednesday.

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 (NASB)

Sometimes I can get wrapped up pretty tight thinking about what others are doing that I feel like are wrong or offensive to me. It’s not something I am proud to admit, but I have to be honest with myself and with others.

Lately, I have been in a bit of a spiral about how someone I love has been knit-picky, argumentative, forgetful and generally getting under my skin (the world according to me). Thankfully, I have a child who doesn’t mind calling me out respectfully and also is full of wisdom. She reminded me of a few things and perhaps the key thing was that I actually have control of what my reactions can be and that it is important to choose not to get into conversations that I know are going nowhere fast. She also reminded me that some people are not going to change but we can change how we interact with them. Then finally she reminded me that I am also at a point in life where my perspective has changed due to aging and general life living. She did not directly point me to the text above, but when we finished talking, I felt better but I was also reminded that perhaps I have been very busy trying to remove a speck/splinter from someone else’s eyes while I was walking around with a log in my own eyes. It was a humbling but necessary talk and text for me.

We can easily decide what someone else should or should not be doing in their lives. We can make snap decisions about another person based on their appearances and their actions without once taking into consideration the how or why of their life story. Few and far between is the person who does not do this even a little bit. I hear it and see it almost daily. Even though I worked for twenty-five years in the court system and grew to understand that “there but for the grace of God, go I” as I listened to countless stories and cases, I can also fall into the habit of seeing the specks and ignoring the log. I can be prone to correcting people’s words, or expressing what I think people’s motivations are when I really don’t know. My work life experiences has put a level of cynicism in me that I am aware of and constantly trying to overcome, so when I hear it coming from someone else, it can irritate me. I don’t necessarily like to be corrected either. These are little things perhaps, but left uncheck they can quickly spiral into a very judgmental attitude that I recognize is not pleasing to God. He is the one true Judge of all, so my two-cents really don’t mean all that much.

I took a walk after that good conversation and all the above began to filter into my mind. That’s the way the Spirit works, He brings to our memory the commandments we need to successfully live out our faith. As I walked, I began to realize that some of the very things I was complaining about, I was engaging in as well. I had to have my personal confessional moment, get my heart re-set and begin again. I have a different approach right now, that I am praying the Lord will help me to continue with. I am also realizing that now I see I have a log in my own eyes that I am working to get rid of, I am not so inclined to even attempt to handle someone else’s speck. I think Jesus knew that when He gave this teaching. Furthermore, the idea of being a hypocrite is motivation enough for me to be on a continual search for my own logs and to let others handle their specks.