writing

Just Show Up, Girl!

~ oridnarythoughts ~ Leave a comment

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to Him through God the Father. (Col. 3:17 ESV)

The color palette is right, but the painting, I am not so sure about. I’ve had this idea rolling around in my mind for a while. Today, I began to work on it, partly as an exercise to loosen up my mind to write, but also to show up for myself in My Create Space, a place I’ve designated for all creative projects. It is so easy to drift away into the flow of life and not give attention to the part of me that God created to be creative. Since my retirement from secular work, it was always my intention to give myself more to this creative side. I’ve done okay with it, but I still feel like it’s not the best I could do.

I determined some years ago, that I would not put myself under the pressure of being a professional artist of any sort. I’ve given it half a stab at it here and there, but over time, I came to realize that painting, drawing and making things is a gift I’ve been given to express myself and to honor God for the gifting. I do apply my creative abilities in so many other places of my life which has helped me in ministry and in my professional life, but the painting and drawing is a special communication between God and me.

Here is a reality many creatives face; we are our own worse critics and enemies to the process. If it doesn’t seem to be exactly the way we envisioned it or just like the thing we were trying to convey, we are quick to quit, speak negatively to ourselves, compare ourselves to others, and not continue to pursue the gifting, which quickly leads to creative block. I am just as guilty as many others. In the past few years, I’ve been reading up on ways to handle creative block, and the one theme that keeps recurring is, “just show up.” One of the most influential books I’ve read, reminded me that it’s not my job to be perfect, it’s my job to be present in the process and to let God handle the rest.

Today, as I was working the paint across the canvas, it slipped off the easel and hit the floor face down. I quickly picked it up and while the floor was just fine, the painting was covered with small specks of dirt and hair from the garage floor. It was a moment to decide to quit or to work through it. I decided to quickly brush off the majority of the specks and hair, smooth over the paint and let it dry.

This is the other thing about painting. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but it’s crucial to take moments to step back, to let paint dry and yes even let the mistakes become part of the overall product. Teaching myself to not be perfect has been a hard one. As I stepped back, looked at the color palette then looked at the canvas, I was reminded why I show up here in the first place, to give thanks to God for the way He has gifted me.

No matter what God has gifted you to do or be, I wanted to share this little story to encourage you, to just show up! Show up like you are presenting to the King. Don’t beat yourself down with perfection for this only One perfect being and it’s not you or me. Show up like it’s the last chance you’ve got. Don’t worry about the mistakes, they probably aren’t mistakes in God’s eyes but they are the things that He does to perfect our work. I am telling myself and I am telling you, “Just Show Up, Girl (or Man)”. You will never regret it.

Treading Water

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“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Isaiah 41:10 ESV

Photo by Oliver Sju00f6stru00f6m on Pexels.com

At long last, I have been released to do at least the exercise of swimming. I have been anticipating the time when I could get back into the pool and swim laps again. The first few were felt in my upper arms but after that, I was perfectly at home with the strokes and the familiar feeling of gliding through the water and feeling the buoyancy of my body was exhilarating once again. After completing my laps and my allotted time in the lane, I swam over to the free swim part of the pool and decided to try treading water for five minutes straight. I saw it as a way to add on to the exercise my body has been craving. To anyone looking at it from the pool deck, it is probably one of the most benign motions of water activity. But to anyone who has done it, the task can be challenging as the goal is to keep the head above water while the body basically remains in one place in the water. When it was all said and done, and I had the opportunity to see what my watch registered regarding my activity. I discovered that my heart rate was higher in those last five minutes of treading water than in the forty minutes I spent swimming laps.

Treading water is merely an analogy of what it means to be stuck in the proverbial ruts of life. The act of treading water is simply kicking our legs while pushing water in a downward motion with our arms and hands. It keeps us afloat but we make very little progressive movement. Sometimes that is the way life can be. We spend a lot of energy being busy but going nowhere and it is frustrating. To some degree, I’ve been feeling that way about certain aspects of my life.

Israel was stuck in the rut of sin and disobedience that led them on a circular path of hardships, oppression and captivity. As a nation, they would go through periods of repentance and blessings and without fail they would slip back into old habits of sin and disregard for God. In this particular text, God was speaking through Isaiah to encourage the nation that their current troubles would not last forever. God always had a plan for them and he has a plan for us. Later in chapter 43:17, God would tell them that they needed to let go of the past and see that He was doing a new thing. It is an amazing word when we consider that the new thing was a new paradigm for salvation and hope that was not reliant on temporary animal sacrifice but a permanent and eternal plan through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. This new paradigm would not happen for hundreds of years.

As I was in the pool treading water (on purpose), I reflected on how good it felt to be back in the pool again, questioning myself about what took me so long and how did I get so far away from an activity that I enjoy so much and that is so good for me. I recognized that time and life has brought on some changes that I have been trying to navigate in ways that may have worked ten or even five years ago, but they don’t work now. For me to move forward, I have to make adjustments that are more suited to those life changes and align with God’s perfect plan for my life. Treading water may get my heart rate up (which is a good thing) but it does little to promote forward progress and can be quite challenging. Swimming on the other hand, gives me a sense of accomplishment. The ease and fluidity of its forward motion easily translates into my life, the goals ,dreams and the plans I believe God has for my life. And while I realize God has been holding me up all along, it’s time to stop treading water and swim.