” My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Psalm 139:15-16 (ESV)

The time had come when an MRI was ordered and then rescheduled sooner than later. I was truly grateful. I knew that it would unlock some of the mysteries of what was happening in my body. Never having had one before, one of the key questions asked of me was if I was claustrophobic. To my knowledge I was not and I really had no understanding why the question was being asked. As they laid me on the table and began to roll it into the chamber I understood, but I was not personally anxious about it. I was warned that it would be loud and was given headphones with soft music to play to help in the process. Even with the headphones and the earplugs, I could hear the machine doing its work. As I lay on the table listening to the various sound, my mind began to associate the sounds to colors, patterns and shapes. It doesn’t happen every time I hear noises or music but it does happen from time to time. For the longest time, I thought everyone had the same reactions. I was a full grown adult before, my musically inclined brother told me otherwise and he was quite surprised that I experienced synesthesia. It was also the conversation that helped me to understand why I enjoyed the re-digitized version of “Fantasia”* when it came out. The children would pop the video in and I would invariably have to stop what I was doing to watch it at least in part. So there I was, in an MRI chamber, enjoying the ride as visions of colors and patterns and shapes danced in my head. It relieved the pain I was feeling in my body and it chased away any thoughts of anxiety (if I were to have any).

As I lay there, the colors and patterns swirling in my brain, my thoughts also turned to the wonder of a machine that by magnetic waves, could locate issues in my body that x-rays and ultra-sounds could not. It reminded me that my Father in Heaven was also able to see everything within, not just my physical body, but the thoughts of my mind and the future of my soul. Furthermore, He knew me and saw all my days, even this one in an MRI chamber before I was even born. Once again, I found great comfort in this go-to Scripture that has carried me through many a day where I doubted, wondered and underestimated the worth of my life. Once again, I found myself in awe and wonder of a great God who created me just as I am, created scientists and doctors who created technical machinery to help them see what is hidden from all other means of looking and ordered my days to experience it all.

I had two rounds in the MRI chamber to look at two different parts of my body. When I was rolled in the second time, I wondered if the colors and patterns would continue. They did. When it was all finished the technician was helping me off the table. She said, you did really well. I decided to tell her what the noises did in my brain with colors and patterns. She seemed genuinely surprised. Once again, I was reminded that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14a). I also had the assurance of knowing that in that chamber God pulled back the curtain for a doctor to see what was really going on inside my body and thus, the process of healing can begin.

* “Fantasia” is an animated musical anthology movie originally produced by Walt Disney Productions that combined classical music, technicolor patterns and shapes that moved to the music and was narrated by Mickey Mouse. It was first released in 1940.