life

Since the Last Time

~ oridnarythoughts ~ Leave a comment

“He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.” Mark 4:27-28 (ESV)

Since the last time I wrote here, I came down with a rather full upper respiratory infection (URI) that impacted everything from my ears and sinuses to my lungs. This was on top of a minor hip inflammatory issue that already had me slowing down quite a bit. It was not the way I had hoped to spend my Valentines weekend or the remainder of the month. But I settled in for the ride. I’ve learned to do that as I get older, and maybe a little wiser.

The first day I really began to feel bad, I was home by myself for quite awhile. I decided to just sit in the bed in quietness, no TV, no radio, no noise. I watched the daylight fade on the wall in front of me. I dozed off from time to time, but the congestion and the coughing would wake me up, so I would sit up feeling every symptom but also listening for the Spirit to speak. As the day turned to night, the Spirit began to be what He is the most, a Comforter (John 14:15-17). In those quiet moments, I understood the necessity of the time not only for my body to fully heal and be restored of things I didn’t even know had invaded it, but also to be fully healed and restored from a stockpile of feelings of hurt, rejection and toxic relationships that I had neatly tucked away. The following days included a trip to an urgent care, taking lots of medicine, sleeping, reading Scriptures, meditating, journaling, anything that could be done from the comfort of my bed. As I regained my strength, I slowly entered back into my routines. I am still not fully in all the routines I was in and I am not sure I need to be either.

One morning, when the sun was warm, and I felt the need to be outside, I took a slow stroll around the neighborhood. It’s that time of year for the yellow jasmine to begin peeking out of the dreary woods. Instead, I came upon this bush. Out of the brown earth and pine straw, the spindly limbs were reaching up and out. Then I saw it; the tiny little buds of leaves just beginning to pop out of their shells. The first buds of spring, delighted my heart. While I was sleeping and rising, life was renewing around me. While I was sleeping and rising, I was being renewed. Since the last time I wrote here, while I was sleeping and rising, life was moving along. While I was sleeping and rising, God spawned a new season of growth in my life that is just like the tiny buds on the bush that are just beginning to peep out in m world. Though my body was still ejecting the residual congestion (the brown ground), new growth was springing out. It’s springing out with fresh ideas and directions to take. It’s springing out with a renewed connection with the Lord. As I begin to be fully restored, the ear will follow and eventually the full grain. But for now, I am delighting in this moment.

Treading Water

~ oridnarythoughts ~ Leave a comment

“fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” Isaiah 41:10 ESV

Photo by Oliver Sju00f6stru00f6m on Pexels.com

At long last, I have been released to do at least the exercise of swimming. I have been anticipating the time when I could get back into the pool and swim laps again. The first few were felt in my upper arms but after that, I was perfectly at home with the strokes and the familiar feeling of gliding through the water and feeling the buoyancy of my body was exhilarating once again. After completing my laps and my allotted time in the lane, I swam over to the free swim part of the pool and decided to try treading water for five minutes straight. I saw it as a way to add on to the exercise my body has been craving. To anyone looking at it from the pool deck, it is probably one of the most benign motions of water activity. But to anyone who has done it, the task can be challenging as the goal is to keep the head above water while the body basically remains in one place in the water. When it was all said and done, and I had the opportunity to see what my watch registered regarding my activity. I discovered that my heart rate was higher in those last five minutes of treading water than in the forty minutes I spent swimming laps.

Treading water is merely an analogy of what it means to be stuck in the proverbial ruts of life. The act of treading water is simply kicking our legs while pushing water in a downward motion with our arms and hands. It keeps us afloat but we make very little progressive movement. Sometimes that is the way life can be. We spend a lot of energy being busy but going nowhere and it is frustrating. To some degree, I’ve been feeling that way about certain aspects of my life.

Israel was stuck in the rut of sin and disobedience that led them on a circular path of hardships, oppression and captivity. As a nation, they would go through periods of repentance and blessings and without fail they would slip back into old habits of sin and disregard for God. In this particular text, God was speaking through Isaiah to encourage the nation that their current troubles would not last forever. God always had a plan for them and he has a plan for us. Later in chapter 43:17, God would tell them that they needed to let go of the past and see that He was doing a new thing. It is an amazing word when we consider that the new thing was a new paradigm for salvation and hope that was not reliant on temporary animal sacrifice but a permanent and eternal plan through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. This new paradigm would not happen for hundreds of years.

As I was in the pool treading water (on purpose), I reflected on how good it felt to be back in the pool again, questioning myself about what took me so long and how did I get so far away from an activity that I enjoy so much and that is so good for me. I recognized that time and life has brought on some changes that I have been trying to navigate in ways that may have worked ten or even five years ago, but they don’t work now. For me to move forward, I have to make adjustments that are more suited to those life changes and align with God’s perfect plan for my life. Treading water may get my heart rate up (which is a good thing) but it does little to promote forward progress and can be quite challenging. Swimming on the other hand, gives me a sense of accomplishment. The ease and fluidity of its forward motion easily translates into my life, the goals ,dreams and the plans I believe God has for my life. And while I realize God has been holding me up all along, it’s time to stop treading water and swim.