If you have raced with runners and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if you trust in a safe land, how will you fare in the thickets of the Jordan? Jer. 12:5 (NRSVue)

Sometimes, it seems like we work and work, try and try and nothing seems to be getting done, nothing is changing. Whether it’s meeting a goal like saving money or losing weight or even a greater mission like finishing school, completing a major work project to launching a new business or fulfilling a ministry calling, there are and there will be days like this. The excitement and promise of beginning fades away, the daily tasks of just getting it done can begin to overwhelm us and the end seems no where in sight. How easily we can lose track of the proverbial forest when we are daily wandering around the trees.

This was Jeremiah’s complaint. Jeremiah was given the monumental task of prophetic ministry to a stubborn people who refused to believe that God would allow any sort of calamity on their lives, simply because they were God’s Chosen. Chapter 1 of the book opens with the call and the direction of Jeremiah’s life but by the time we get to Chapter 12, Jeremiah’s words have been ignored and his life threatened. Now he turns to God and complains about the apparent unproductivity of the ministry. God in turn responds, to remind Jeremiah that what he has been dealing with is nothing compared to what is to come, but that God is with Jeremiah every step of the way. This would be the first complaint in the book. A second one will be given in Chapter 15 and God reassures Jeremiah once more. The final complaint occurs in Chapter 20 in which Jeremiah basically accuses of God of misleading him in this journey. It is in verse 9 Jeremiah says, “If I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,” then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.” (NRSVue) Interestingly, God never responds to this last complaint and Jeremiah never complains again even though he would endure even harder persecution and pain in the ministry. Apparently, Jeremiah came to the place of absolute resolve to see the ministry through even when it seemed like he was in a trench and could not see the ground. In fact there would be a time he would be placed in a pit and left for dead, but God rescued him. Everything God told Jeremiah would happen in his lifetime, happened and so at some point it seems Jeremiah saw the proverbial forest instead of the trees.

I think I have been a bit in a trench lately. Personal goals have not been met and the day-to-day demands of ministry take away from what I perceive to be the greater calling and mission God called me to do. I find myself asking the question, “Is this all there is?” I love that God gives me space to ask the question and He gives me room to find the answers, much as He did for Jeremiah. He gives me space when I express my pain and disappointment, then gently reminds me that I’ve come too far with some of my goals to turn around now. He gives me space when I press through commitments and then gives me a fresh idea that further develops the gifts within. He gives me space when I am walking along the road, wallowing in my self-pity and lets a beautiful and rarely seen blue bird fly by. He gives me space when I am in the trenches of life and ministry and lets me look up to see the Spring flowers and breathe the fresh Spring air above me. He gives me space to rediscover Jeremiah and then gives me the courage to write these words of confession. Yes, I have been in a trench and it is hard to see the ground above sometimes, but like Jeremiah, the things of God are like a fire in my bones. If I tried to stop now, I would surely burst open trying to keep my mouth shut and my hands still. And so I find myself committed to the cause and the goals while I sense God above is quietly smiling knowing there is nothing more that needs to be said.

Lord, thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You for always being with me in trenches and above ground. Thank You for loving me so tenderly and sweetly. Please forgive my fits of self-pity and strengthen me for the journey as I learn each day to trust You even more than before. Amen.