Ready for Harvest

“…Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields; for they are already white to harvest.” John 4:35b (KJV)

“He said to them, ‘the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” Luke 10:2 (NRSVue)

It’s cotton picking season in the SC farm regions. Being from Pennsylvania, the first time I saw cotton fields ripening to be harvested, was a sight to behold. There is nothing quite like the contrast of the cotton bolls still on the brown stalks against the backdrop of a Carolina blue sky. I am still enthralled by the sight. However, I also have some mixed feelings because I know that this crop in particular was labor intensive in times past. Now there are all types of machines to pick and bale the cotton for market. I am cognizant of the fact that not that long ago, the process was much different. My husband, as a young child was taken to the fields to pick cotton along with his siblings and led by his mother. I have heard many a story about how hard it was, how they would hope the dew was still on the cotton when they picked it so as to get more weight in their bags and how one sibling was able to pick more cotton in a day than any of them. Mixed with the stories of the labor involved, are fond memories of family together and Mama making a meal in the field with a fire, a pot of rice and cans of pork and beans. The even harder truth is that, cotton has significant ties to slave labor in the South and its abuses. So while I can see the beauty of the field itself, I must remember that for some, it may not be so beautiful. After the mid 1950’s and 60’s the feasibility of manual labor for cotton was depleting and farmers had to invest in the machinery we see today. Still when I see the cotton fields of October and November as I drive down country roads I am reminded of the Bible texts above.

In the first one from John, the Samaritan woman just had an encounter with Jesus at the well in the middle of the day. She went back to town to tell about how she met “a man who told me everything I have ever done.”(John 4:29). The townspeople came out to meet Jesus to see whether or not she had met the Messiah. At that point, when Jesus saw the crowds, he told the Disciples that the fields were ripe for harvesting. In other words, He was letting them know that many are eager for a savior. It was their job to bring them in even though they did not plant the crop. In the second text, Jesus was sending out seventy-two followers to spread the Gospel. He sent them with a similar message. There is a harvest of people ready to receive Jesus, more than they could handle all by themselves. They were told to pray that God would send them helpers to gather in the lost. I find the same to be true even today. In a broken world, people are still looking for existential answers for their lives. People are trying to make sense of the madness, looking for purpose and find hope for their future.

I can easily put myself in the scene as Jesus spoke to the Disciples about the fields being ripe for harvest as the Samaritans came to see Jesus and feel how overwhelming it must have been to hear Jesus tell them to reap a harvest. I can equally imagine the same sense of being overwhelmed when Jesus said that the laborers are few but the harvest was plentiful. As a pastor, teacher, minister of the Gospel, it is easy to fall into the trap that it’s my duty alone to reap the harvest. FALSE! Or that it’s my duty alone to inspire a congregation to go reap the harvest. FALSE! That is a quick path to burnout. While I can see that there is a harvest to gather in, the texts remind me that as one of the called, I have to rely on God to provide the help that is needed. That means a life of prayer, of witnessing, of serving others, of living as much of a Christ-like life I possibly can, which is the labor that gets us to the point of harvest just like the farmers have work to do that gets to their harvest season. The difference between farmers and Christians is that harvest season is not limited to one time a year but it is on-going. That in itself can seem a bit overwhelming. The key is to remember that we cannot do it all alone or by ourselves. We have God to help us, to lead us and show us where to go and what to do. Furthermore, we are told to ask God to send help. As a pastor, teacher, minister of the Gospel, it reminds me to ask God for the help I need.

The process of getting to the cotton fields full of white bolls is long and tedious. There is the tilling, the planting, the fertilizing and spreading pesticides, the watering, the waiting and hoping that the weather will be just right, and then the blooms and then the ripened pods. The process of spiritual harvesting takes time also. We cannot plant seeds of faith today and expect a crop tomorrow. Indeed, we may plant and not see the harvest for ourselves but we place our trust in God to allow our seeds to grow into a harvest at some point (1 Cor. 3:6-7). These cotton fields are a friendly reminder to me from God to keep tending the fields He has given to me to till, plant, water and reap.

Since I Last Wrote

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” Is. 40:31

Since I last wrote, I have been recovering from a round of bursitis and tendinitis in my hip. That meant weeks of physical therapy which did not help, then MRI’s, then appointments with two specialists and finally an injection in my hip. The problem really began in January and it was not until a few weeks ago that I was really feeling like I would get back to some sort of normalcy. Then I was informed I needed an infusion for osteoporosis and since then, my knee has been acting up. Months ago, I took my issues to the Lord in prayer. I felt the Spirit say I would walk (for exercise) again, maybe not at the same pace, but I would be able to regain some of my strength. It wasn’t that I couldn’t walk at all, just not the loops I took for exercise. The last time I walked for exercise, I limped home with a bad hip. I started back doing one of the most harmless exercises I can do, swim. I was feeling real good about that. I felt like I had a promise I could stand on.

Since I last wrote, a darling little baby came into my life. She was a frail and frightened kitten hiding in my son’s car engine after a 30 mile ride from a local airport. She was hungry and we could feel almost every bone in her body. She quickly became a part of the household. Also since I last wrote, we have had some travels, church conferences, appointments and family coming and going. In the modern vernacular, “life be lifing”. Over the weekend, I was sharing with my brother the things she has been doing as she grows. Later that same day, she had draped herself across my chest for a nap and when she woke up, she hopped down from her perch. I put my attention to some matter of life that needed my attention, and I wondered where she was. I turned around and there she was standing on top of my Bible. I jokingly said to her, “So now you’re standing on the promises of God?”

Fast forward to today, my husband was randomly singing the hymn, “Standing On the Promises of God”. I am sure there was a reason for it, but it made me think about the picture I had snapped of our little darling from over the weekend. Also, during this conversation, we were talking about how I was scheduled to go to yet another doctor’s appointment, this time for my knee and my frustration that it seems like over the past several years, I’ve been dealing with one joint issue after another, none of them horrible by themselves, but certainly inconvenient and nagging. In the back of my head, my mind ran back to the moment that I felt the Spirit promised me I would walk again and just how far away I feel from that promise. Did I misunderstand? Did I read more into what the Spirit was speaking than was actually being said? Was it even a promise? Almost immediately, the scripture above popped into my head.

Also since I last wrote, I did a Bible Study on “The Promises of God”. As part of that study, there was a place where the authors had curated a list of God’s promises versus sayings we say and tag them as God’s promises. There is a difference. And it is not that God does not give us promises individually, the majority of them are meant to be broader in spectrum. So I can attach a healing prayer to God’s promises of healing, but I also have to understand that everything happens in His time and in His will and that sometimes, like Paul, the healing may not come because the greater promise is that His grace is sufficient for us so as to make God’s strength perfect in our weaknesses or infirmities (2 Cor. 12:9). Therefore, as I prepare myself for another doctor’s appointment, I am reminded of the greater promise given in Isaiah 40:31. That promise is for strength to walk out my faith daily, even when I cannot literally walk without some sort of impediment right now. Here, the promise to walk is tied to those who will wait on the Lord. I am still believing that at some point in my future, I will be able to walk around the neighborhood again, probably at a different pace. And given today’s experience, I am now hinging what the Spirit spoke to my heart on to Isaiah 40:31, and I will wait on the Lord for His timing, His will. And if that will includes relying on God’s grace, then indeed I will be walking by faith all the more.

Trusting the Process

“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14)

I have been a bit out of pocket lately. The truth is I have been going from appointment to appointment and in between handling a lot of ministry things. I’ve been doing this with a pain in my hip that makes it difficult to walk at times. Even now, I am being told to trust the process. The process has involved a doctor’s visit, medications, physical therapy, a return visit and now I am waiting for an MRI and follow-up referral visits. It’s frustrating and at times it seems like no one is listening and at other times like everyone is listening but giving me a wide variety of possibilities for a diagnosis. All the while, I am limping along, trying my best to put my best foot forward (literally). So when my doctor said, “It’s a process and the process takes time”, I was reminded that the Spirit had spoken the same thing to me from the outset.

I was walking through my house one day, looked up and saw the antique clock on the shelf. It was part of my dad’s collection and one that he had intended to repair but never got around to before he passed away. It reminded me that sometimes the process feels like time is standing still. The clock also reminded me that though it is old, with the right parts and the right person working on it, it can work again. This body has some age and mileage on it; it’s just taking time to find the right parts and the right person to get her back up and running again.

Waiting on the Lord, can feel like time is standing still. Waiting on the Lord can feel like things aren’t happening or working. Those are just feelings. The reality is that sometimes waiting on the Lord is just what I need to be strengthened, to be restored, repurposed, repositioned, or renewed to complete His will for my life. I am believing that if I trust the process, I will come out on the other side better in some way. It may not be that I will have a stronger body, but I will have a stronger faith and/or a closer relationship with Him.

The clock may not get repaired, but I treasure it so I take care of it. I dust it regularly, I am careful in handling it, I keep it out of the way so that it doesn’t get knocked over. My next appointments are in a few weeks. Until then, I will continue to take care of this body the best that I can. I will make sure that it doesn’t get knocked around too much and let it rest. I have decided to trust the process, even if it feels like time is standing still.

A Spring Breeze

“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8 (ESV)

There is a list of things to do today, some of which are a carryover from yesterday. But the Spirit had a different plan today. In prayer, I heard the still small, voice to say “Be present in today.” I went about my usual routines of making myself breakfast, dishes and tidying, even planning out my day, but a spring breeze blowing through an open window was drawing me away. One of my to-do’s involved some floral arrangements and re-setting my tableware for the month. I knew in an instant the best thing for me to do would be to open up the Create Space, clear out room to work and let the spring breeze fill the air. As I moved about my business, my eye caught the breeze billowing a window curtain and I was reminded again of the Spirit’s still small voice.

Jesus was explaining to Nicodemus, a pharisee seeking answers to questions in the cover of night, about who He was and what it meant to be born again. Jesus used this analogy of the wind to help him understand the movement and the power of the Holy Spirit. But then there is that little sentence at the end of describing the Spirit, “So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” As I understand that statement, Jesus is letting us know that those who are born again, are filled with the Spirit and we then have the ability to be led by the Spirit. This does not mean we live our lives in some sort of wanton stream of disorder and chaos. It does mean, that our hearts and ears are open to hear the Spirit and His instructions for our lives. Sometimes that instruction seems out of place or counter to our plans but when we can hear it and act on it, there is always a clear answer for the instructions given.

Had I ignored the Spirit’s prompting, I would probably be working on my list, to include finances and taxes, fretting over all the things I haven’t gotten finished yet. I would probably be pushing a sore hip that needs some rest to the utmost limit of its ability and feeling worse for it. Instead, I find myself still working on my to-do list but in a much more purposeful way, able to breathe in fresh air and delight in the wonder of a beautiful spring day with a soft spring breeze. A small part of my world is in order, my soul is refreshed, my his is not as sore, and my mind is thinking more clearly. I have to admit, that the instructions for today, were not what I expected, but I am grateful for the direction and I am more blessed for following them.

Resilient

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed, but not driven to despair, persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;” (2 Cor. 4:7-9 ESV)

I took a drive through the country the other day. I had a lot of things pressing on my mind and spirit. My brain was grasping at straws for a resolution to a problem I had not fully gathered all the facts for. I was jumping from one issue to the next and winding my stomach into a knot. The Spirit led me to take a drive, to focus on God’s creation and worship Him, to focus on Him and not the problem. I chose a road I was familiar with but had not driven in quite some time. As I turned onto the road, I realized that this was one of the areas on our county that had suffered a rash of wild fires in a short period of time. What met my eyes at first was the stark black and charred earth, trees and brush against the backdrop of a perfect spring-like blue sky. I kept driving, paying attention to just how big the fire had been. The more I drove, the more I noticed that even though the fire was fairly recent, small sprigs of greenery were already making their way through the charred ground and ash. I’ve seen this before, but on this particular day, it was important to see it once again.

Ministry can be hard sometimes. Often harder than we even expect it to be. The text above is one of my go-to verses when I am remembering to keep myself humble and not get too big on myself. But as I reflect on how I came to the place of viewing this burned out forest on a day when I was feeling all the feelings about my effectiveness and competency, the word resilient came to mind. Not sure where the word search would take me, but I landed once again on this go-to verse. This time, I am moving past the clay jars into what Paul is saying about some of the difficulties of ministry. I’ve read it many times, but on this particular day and in this particular moment it resonates with me. Even though I am looking at it through pastoral eyes, I also see that it applies to any Christian who is taking their faith seriously and actively working and seeking ways to expand the kingdom of God.

The wildfire, destroyed hundreds of acres. Or so it seems. It is true, that some of the trees will never rebound. They will not sprout new roots, their seeds won’t propagate. They will become rubbish that may fuel the next inevitable wildfire. The forest will look pretty bare for a year or two, but those small sprigs of green will flourish. Grass and ferns will fill the ground again, trees will begin to re-leaf and new ones will grow. Eventually, one will hardly be able to tell that a fire swept through this part of the woods.

Our Christian journey sometimes will take us through moments that feel like utter destruction and if not that a pretty good scarring from being burned about something we did or didn’t do. Paul is letting us know that this is inevitable. The question becomes how will we react? Will we give up and die, burned to the point that we no longer will trust and believe in God? Or will we be like those small sprigs of greenery, hoping against hope that God will restore us? I believe it is one of the markers of our faith to see how we will handle the stress of a test. We want to believe that we will pass the test when it comes our way but the reality is we really won’t know until we get there.

The reality is that I have faced harder situations, been knocked down by false statements, placed my trust in some who betrayed me, and deal head on with conflicts that I would have rather not dealt with. I have had moments of being overwhelmed with grief, hot with anger and utterly confused. When I compare the current concern against some of those in the past, this really is not as hard or difficult as I am making it out to be.

I believe, now, that the Spirit led me on this drive through the country to this particular road, to remind me that there is hope. Just as he has sprouted greenery from the ashes in this woods, he has sprouted greenery in every moment in the past when I thought I was completely finished. Even though I am still feeling the anxiety of the moment, I am reminded that there is hope again. This lifting from the ashes is not for my sake but it is for me to continue to fulfill the calling on my life — “so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies”(2 Cor. 4:10). And so it is for all believers who desire to do God’s will and face the various challenges of life. We are resilient!

A Reminder Not to Worry

“And why are you worried about clothing? Notice how the lilies of the field grow; they do not labor nor do they spin thread for cloth, yet I say to you that not evn Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these…So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself, Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:28-29 & 34 NASB 2020)

There are many troublesome events and circumstances in this world today, too many to list them all and quite frankly, I don’t care to list them. It’s important to be informed about the realities we live in, especially so that we can make good decisions regarding our finances, our health, our civic involvement, the ministries we support, etc. It is also just as easy to get overly wrapped up in the barrage of information that is thrown at us daily. It is easy for us to chase rabbit holes of information that lead us nowhere but to a place of fears, doubts, concerns and despair. The flip side of this is becoming so overly spiritual that says we are placing our cares on God because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7) to the point that we lose sight of reality and fail to address the concerns of people around us. Perhaps you have heard the phrase “if you worry, don’t pray and if you pray, don’t worry” or perhaps the phrase “too blessed to be stressed”. These are meant to be an encouragement to those filled with anxiety, but for the one who is truly anxious it may seem like an impossible platitude to apply to their lives. How can we balance the reality of stress, anxiety and worries in everyday life with our faith that instructs us to trust in the Lord?

To begin with, I find Scripture to be a good starting place. There are a variety of texts to lean on. But perhaps, my favorite is the Matthew text which gives me a moment of pause and consideration, a place to breathe and take stock of whatever it may be that is pushing in on my peace and trust in God. I am not exempt from worry because I am a pastor. In fact, just the opposite can be true. As pastors, we are constantly in a balancing act of caring for the flock, while managing budgets, ensuring our sanctuaries are in good condition, meeting obligations for various ministries, not to mention our personal lives. It can be overwhelming at times, especially when a variety of things all come at us at once.

Recently, I’ve been toiling with a few issues. As I was driving home one day, I turned the corner and there along the roadside was a wooden fence with a crown of yellow jasmine, cascading over the top of the fence. My brain took a mental snapshot. As I worked the mental snapshot onto the paper, I had a stack of paperwork waiting for me to tackle, yet getting the image of the fence had to come first. As I worked the paint across the paper, I found myself less and less stressed about my to-do list. If I didn’t finish it all today, I quickly realized the world would not come to an end and the things I’ve been juggling would not fall to the floor in a crash. In fact, I believe that taking the time to soak in God’s reminder of not to worry, actually freed my mind to have a better focus on the issues I still need to tackle. Some of the stack has dwindled down, and there is still some serious work to do, but I am reminded that the God who dresses the field with flowers and fences is the one who will help me work through the difficult things that concern me. And so I see in the fence with the jasmine, the balance we need; the fence being the structures of life that we must be aware of that must be attended to and the jasmine, the gentle reminder that God is taking care of me.

Since the Last Time

“He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.” Mark 4:27-28 (ESV)

Since the last time I wrote here, I came down with a rather full upper respiratory infection (URI) that impacted everything from my ears and sinuses to my lungs. This was on top of a minor hip inflammatory issue that already had me slowing down quite a bit. It was not the way I had hoped to spend my Valentines weekend or the remainder of the month. But I settled in for the ride. I’ve learned to do that as I get older, and maybe a little wiser.

The first day I really began to feel bad, I was home by myself for quite awhile. I decided to just sit in the bed in quietness, no TV, no radio, no noise. I watched the daylight fade on the wall in front of me. I dozed off from time to time, but the congestion and the coughing would wake me up, so I would sit up feeling every symptom but also listening for the Spirit to speak. As the day turned to night, the Spirit began to be what He is the most, a Comforter (John 14:15-17). In those quiet moments, I understood the necessity of the time not only for my body to fully heal and be restored of things I didn’t even know had invaded it, but also to be fully healed and restored from a stockpile of feelings of hurt, rejection and toxic relationships that I had neatly tucked away. The following days included a trip to an urgent care, taking lots of medicine, sleeping, reading Scriptures, meditating, journaling, anything that could be done from the comfort of my bed. As I regained my strength, I slowly entered back into my routines. I am still not fully in all the routines I was in and I am not sure I need to be either.

One morning, when the sun was warm, and I felt the need to be outside, I took a slow stroll around the neighborhood. It’s that time of year for the yellow jasmine to begin peeking out of the dreary woods. Instead, I came upon this bush. Out of the brown earth and pine straw, the spindly limbs were reaching up and out. Then I saw it; the tiny little buds of leaves just beginning to pop out of their shells. The first buds of spring, delighted my heart. While I was sleeping and rising, life was renewing around me. While I was sleeping and rising, I was being renewed. Since the last time I wrote here, while I was sleeping and rising, life was moving along. While I was sleeping and rising, God spawned a new season of growth in my life that is just like the tiny buds on the bush that are just beginning to peep out in m world. Though my body was still ejecting the residual congestion (the brown ground), new growth was springing out. It’s springing out with fresh ideas and directions to take. It’s springing out with a renewed connection with the Lord. As I begin to be fully restored, the ear will follow and eventually the full grain. But for now, I am delighting in this moment.

A Geode on the Inside

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” (Jer. 1:4-5 NRSVue)

There I sat in the middle of a room of familiar people, people who knew why I would have even shown up for this occasion, and yet I felt so cast aside, ignored and overlooked. It gave me pause to ask myself some questions about the roles I have played in people’s lives and whether or not it was a lie I was told or had I convinced myself that I was somehow more than I really am to the people around me. It was a brutal internal moment, when someone came to me and acknowledged my presence and asked for my assistance. It certainly helped to smooth the moment, but the thoughts lingered throughout the day. Later in the afternoon, as I sat in my studio space, pondering and journaling, I looked up at my little treasure tray and my eyes landed on a piece of geode I picked up somewhere along the way. I took it down, examined it and began to have a good self-talk with God, a reminder from Him that it was not necessarily the way I had seen it or felt it, but also a reminder, that in someway I am not so dissimilar to that geode.

I have had a fascination with rocks since I was a child. They tell me that when I was younger, the family convinced me that pet rocks were a real thing. I insisted I had to have one for Christmas. I got one too. Later, we lived in a developing neighborhood where a road had been cut in the dirt but had not been paved or built up yet. Deposited in the deep ditches were beautiful black cubic crystals, more than likely a type of pyrite. It was a regular thing for me and some of the kids in the neighborhood to search for a perfectly formed and separated piece or to find the largest one, etc. I had a whole collection that has long since been lost. I still pick up pieces of quartz, shale, granite and anything that looks a little different. I was awed a few years ago by the rock formations of the Badlands in SD where it seemed like the landscape was both vertical and horizontal at the same time. So the geode in my treasure tray was the catalyst I needed for the conversation I had with myself and God.

A few months ago, I had listed out some things about myself that the Spirit was leading me to jot down. I was making notes about how I see myself or have seen myself in the past and the Spirit was responding to each one of my statements. One of the statements I made was that I have felt rejected and overlooked to which the Spirit’s response was that I was a gem in a rock. So when I had this moment of rejection happening in real time, I was led to re-read the statement, then I looked at the geode and a few things came to mind. First, I took a lightweight dive into how geodes are formed. It is a long process and to put it in simple terms, it’s about how gases get trapped in sedimentary/lava based rocks and create crystals on the inside. They are similar to agate but the difference is that there appears to be an air pocket that causes the crystals to form inwardly and are only visible when one breaks the rock open. To the naked eye, a geode rock will look like a rather ugly egg shaped rock, not worthy of picking up and certainly not collectible material. On the inside, the many facets of crystals capture light and they glisten.

As I compared the moment I was having with what the Spirit was saying, I began to realize that not everyone can discern a geode and not everyone can discern the gem of person God made me to be. That helped a lot. I began to regain my composure and sense of emotional well-being. I thought about how the exterior of the rock hides the beauty of the rock from undiscerning eyes. Everything is not for everybody. In God’s words to Jeremiah, he was questioning his age and ability to speak for God. God equipped Jeremiah first by letting him know he was created for the moment, then proceeded to help him understand that though he would often be rejected by men, God had not and would not reject Jeremiah. I will never put myself equivalent to Jeremiah, but I do know God called me to do the things I do, and often it comes with a sense of rejection, but I am like that geode; hard but also beautiful. Later the same day, someone who was at the event and connected to my current church, called me and figuratively said, “I opened the geode and I see who you are.” It was the final word I needed.

I am pretty sure that someone who is reading this, may feel or has felt like I did in the moment. Remember that a geode takes time to develop and most will never recognize it when they see one. But at the right time, it will become known and the beauty inside will be plainly visible to all who will take the time to look for it and those are the people we should want in our lives more than anyone else. The flip side of this is that I think we all are a bit like a geode and before we are quick to overlook, reject or toss aside someone because they seem rough on the exterior or don’t fit into our mold of what a person should be, take the time to look inside for the gem of the person that God created them to be and let them know you see them.

Just Show Up, Girl!

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to Him through God the Father. (Col. 3:17 ESV)

The color palette is right, but the painting, I am not so sure about. I’ve had this idea rolling around in my mind for a while. Today, I began to work on it, partly as an exercise to loosen up my mind to write, but also to show up for myself in My Create Space, a place I’ve designated for all creative projects. It is so easy to drift away into the flow of life and not give attention to the part of me that God created to be creative. Since my retirement from secular work, it was always my intention to give myself more to this creative side. I’ve done okay with it, but I still feel like it’s not the best I could do.

I determined some years ago, that I would not put myself under the pressure of being a professional artist of any sort. I’ve given it half a stab at it here and there, but over time, I came to realize that painting, drawing and making things is a gift I’ve been given to express myself and to honor God for the gifting. I do apply my creative abilities in so many other places of my life which has helped me in ministry and in my professional life, but the painting and drawing is a special communication between God and me.

Here is a reality many creatives face; we are our own worse critics and enemies to the process. If it doesn’t seem to be exactly the way we envisioned it or just like the thing we were trying to convey, we are quick to quit, speak negatively to ourselves, compare ourselves to others, and not continue to pursue the gifting, which quickly leads to creative block. I am just as guilty as many others. In the past few years, I’ve been reading up on ways to handle creative block, and the one theme that keeps recurring is, “just show up.” One of the most influential books I’ve read, reminded me that it’s not my job to be perfect, it’s my job to be present in the process and to let God handle the rest.

Today, as I was working the paint across the canvas, it slipped off the easel and hit the floor face down. I quickly picked it up and while the floor was just fine, the painting was covered with small specks of dirt and hair from the garage floor. It was a moment to decide to quit or to work through it. I decided to quickly brush off the majority of the specks and hair, smooth over the paint and let it dry.

This is the other thing about painting. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but it’s crucial to take moments to step back, to let paint dry and yes even let the mistakes become part of the overall product. Teaching myself to not be perfect has been a hard one. As I stepped back, looked at the color palette then looked at the canvas, I was reminded why I show up here in the first place, to give thanks to God for the way He has gifted me.

No matter what God has gifted you to do or be, I wanted to share this little story to encourage you, to just show up! Show up like you are presenting to the King. Don’t beat yourself down with perfection for this only One perfect being and it’s not you or me. Show up like it’s the last chance you’ve got. Don’t worry about the mistakes, they probably aren’t mistakes in God’s eyes but they are the things that He does to perfect our work. I am telling myself and I am telling you, “Just Show Up, Girl (or Man)”. You will never regret it.

Rear View Mirror

“be careful that you do not forget the Lord who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery..” Deut. 6:12 (NASB)

“Do not call to mind the former things, Or consider things of the past. Behold, I am going to do something new,” Is. 43:18-19a (NASB)

“Brothers and sisters, I do not regard myself as having taken hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil. 3:13-14 (NASB)

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January brings on the sense of renewal. It is the time of year that we are looking at our lives, figuring out how to improve them, to start new habits and perhaps drops some old ones. It is also a time when we re-set our focus on life goals and build a determination to re-set our lives in general. We may be trying to re-boot from bad experiences, trials and tribulations, health issues, financial troubles, any variety of things. The Isaiah and the Philippians scriptures above are often repeated during this New Year frenzy as words of inspiration and hope for what the future may hold for us. I have used them for myself more than once.

But one morning, I was making the bed and I remembered that the new year began with a concern for the residents of Los Angeles, my granddaughter included, who were and are still in fear of their safety because of the massive wild fires out there. Almost instantly, the thought came to me how easily we put things into the rear view mirror of our memory banks and move on to the next big thing. It seemed that the news cycle was on top of this story and then all the sudden, it was taken over by politics, shootings etc. Now it falls somewhere down on number 3 – 5 in the list of headlines to be covered. It made me pause and wonder what and when do we need to put in the rear view mirrors of our lives. I was reminded of both the Deuteronomy text and the Isaiah and Philippian texts almost simultaneously.

The purpose of a rear view mirror is to help a driver be aware of any dangers that may be coming our way from behind us because while we are driving it is unsafe for us to completely turn around and look at what is happening in the road. It also helps us to determine if a lane shift is advisable or not. In other words, the rear view mirror is a practical aid to our driving and should never be completely ignored. It also helps us to see what we have already passed and over time, the miles begin to melt away as we move forward on our journey. On a long trip, the rear view mirror is the friendly reminder that it’s not as long as it has been. However, if all our attention is on the rear view mirror we will be completely unaware of the changes and dangers in the road ahead of us. I can remember in my driver’s education classes and even when my Dad took me out for driving lessons, that I was always told to keep shifting my vision from the rear view and side view mirrors to the road ahead and be alert for things popping up in my peripheral vision as well, so that I could be fully aware and engaged in my driving.

Some might look at the texts above and say that God is contradicting Himself. I think God is telling us how to drive through this life. Certain things we must always be aware of and remember; His Word, His promises, His commands like the way I was told to shift my vision constantly to take in the whole scope of my driving route. Other things are not meant to be dwelled upon. The sins forgiven comes to the forefront of my mind. How often do we keep dwelling on what we did in our former days that God has since forgiven? It is not a longing to return, but it is the bemoaning and blame gaming we do that prevents us from moving forward in the victory God has given us. This was Isaiah and Paul’s statement to their audiences. In effect, they are saying we can’t change the past but we trust that God has resolved it in our confession and faith in salvation so that we no longer entangle ourselves or prevent ourselves from living in the fullness and blessings God has given us in restoring our souls. Yet there is the delicate balance of remembering the lessons learned and so we should keep checking our proverbial rear view mirrors to make sure that we are not letting something creep up on us unaware. I believe that is what we see in the Deuteronomy text. That is the delicate balance I am speaking about; we should never forget where God brought us from but we can’t dwell in the past if we plan to reach our final destination, our eternal home.