It was another Tuesday morning and the scale was not my friend, again. It felt like years of hard work was slipping through my fingers, and now bound by a foot that cannot get this body out to exercise like I had in the past, and over a year of being on a weight plateau, things were moving in the wrong direction. Determined to get to the heart of the matter, I dressed and prepared myself for the anticipated appointment with an endocrinologist to review some wonky numbers that just maybe were the culprit to my dilemma. After a careful review of my lab work, and some open ended questions to find out why I was in her office, she explained to me that while she could put me on medication, it was not the best solution. I was all for that! She gave me a mini-lecture on how the mind works and how it can impact so many other anatomical systems in our bodies, then she gave me simple things to do, that will probably kick my metabolism back into gear again. Much of what she was telling me, I basically knew or confirmed the things that I believed were true. I assured her that my goal was not to medicate the problem and thus mask it; but I wanted answers and an understanding of what was at the heart of the matter. Then she gave me one of the most freeing pieces of advise that no doctor had dared to say before, she gave me a weight number that would be good for me as my top-end number. She also expressed that should I follow her advise, in six months, not only would I see it on the scale but also in my lab work.

This was a lesson to myself that sometimes I can make the best laid plans for myself, based on whatever data I have collected and decided would be the path I should take. Perhaps you see the problem with the last sentence. It is the frequency of the first person pronouns. My weight loss journey was prompted upon medical advise. Since the doctor is a solid Christian man, I believed God was directing my path and it worked. Somewhere along the way, as I encountered injuries and disruptions to my plan, my body began to revolt and try to get me back to my top most weight. This time, the same Christian doctor seemed reluctant to make the referral, but I insisted. Just like the Spirit had informed me about my stress fracture, I felt the Spirit was driving me to see this doctor. At first, I didn’t hear from the specialist’s office. When I called to see what was up with my appointment, I was told someone would get back to me. When the referral clerk called, she said that there were no regular openings until September but there was a cancellation and I snatched it up. When I finally met the doctor, I realized that it was all guided by God’s hand to re-direct my path and my thinking. In that moment, I came to terms with my own body, mind and soul and recognized that all of my efforts were in vain. He is guiding me to a new more sustainable path to wellness that is uniquely fitted to my stature, age and genetics.

I realized that while I was put on this path originally by God, somewhere along the way, I filtered in my own thoughts and actions to fit God’s plan into my ideals. The last two years have been filled with a series of physical issues, that individually are minor and collectively are annoying. Instead of taking the time to really pray and contemplate why I was having all these things happening, I kept pressing to get over one issue after the other so that “I could get back into my routines”. I was not taking into account that my lifestyle was changing due to retirement or that I am getting older. The stress fracture was the catalyst to make me slow down and really turn to God. He is still working on me. In this moment and season where I am forced to move at a slower pace, I acknowledge that He is at work in this process. I am already experiencing moments where the Spirit is directing my paths. While I don’t know the exact destination this is all leading me to, I am trusting and believing that God is working it all out and making it straight and clear to me.

The truth is that this is just one moment of revelation. Over time, as is the case with these human minds, I may override God with my own thoughts of what to do and how to do things. I am writing this as much to myself, to remind myself of this moment so that perhaps, if or when I get off the path again, I won’t be so stubborn or slow to remember God and to let Him direct my ways. Though, I want to believe I’ve learned my lesson once and for all.

What happened on Wednesday in Holy Week? Specifically what happened with Jesus on Wednesday? A review of the Gospels does not specifically say nor can any of the activities of Jesus be tied to Wednesday. Matthew 26:2 and Mark 14:1 both indicate that at the end of Tuesday, Jesus states that the Passover will be in two days (Matt. 26:2) and the narrative in Mark states the Feast of Unleavened Bread was in two days. The next part of the narrative happens while Jesus was in Bethany with his friends Lazarus, Martha and Mary in the home of Simon the Leper (Matt. 26:6; Mark 14:3). During the meal a woman presents Jesus with an alabaster jar to anoint his feet, which created quite a stir among the disciples, citing the waste of money that could be used to help the poor. Jesus responds to leave the woman alone because she is doing for him what will not be done to prepare his body for burial (Matt.26:12-13; Mark:14:6-9) and in John’s narrative it is Mary (12:7-8). Soon afterwards Judas Iscariot would finalize his deal to betray Jesus with 30 pieces of silver. This is the only narrative that logically falls on Tuesday night or Wednesday.

There is no teaching, no challenges from the temple authorities, no healings or any of the other many activities that are recorded on Sunday through Tuesday or Thursday through Friday. It seems that Jesus is enjoying a friendly meal with His Twelve and some close friends. It seems that He has no care in the world or concern for what is inevitably about to happen. Instead, He seems to be relishing a good meal in good company. Therein, I believe is a valuable lesson for us all on what appears to be a rather innocuous and ordinary day in the life of Jesus the man. That lesson is to take time out from our busy schedules, our perceived missional work and enjoy the moment that is presented to us. I think the lesson also is reflective of what Jesus practiced regularly, the spiritual discipline of Sabbath rest.

Jesus, part of the God head, knew what lay ahead. He knew the betrayal was in the works, the arrest in the garden would scatter the Twelve, the kangaroo courts all night long would lead Him to a whip lashing, a cross and death. And even if God did not reveal the resurrection to Jesus until the Garden of Gethsemane prayer (which is strictly a speculation of possibilities on my part), He knew that God had an ultimate plan beyond the cross and He trusted His Father with that plan. In that moment it seems that with all that He knew, it was equally, if not more important, to spend some quality time with the people closest to Him in the ministry in a brief moment of pleasant fellowship. The food and the fellowship provided a momentary respite from the wear and tear of ministry. This quiet break from the ministry was probably supplying him with the much needed physical strength He would need to endure the rest of the week ahead.

It teaches me as a minister and leader, that it is important to make room for family and friends and to be fully involved in those moments. It teaches me that when I know I am about to face some ministry challenges or hectic schedules, it is important to take a little time off to gather my strength and thoughts. It teaches me that everyday does not have to be full of ministry activities and that private time with the people I love and with God are as much a spiritual discipline as my prayer, Bible Study and devotional time. It also teaches me not to worry about what comes next, even if God has given me the revelation of what that may be or how difficult the road may be, but to trust God that He has a plan that will work out for my good and His glory. I can imagine that as that dark Friday came to a close, as the Twelve thought about what had transpired, they also had to remember this very precious and intimate moment they shared with Jesus. Except for Judas who clearly regretted his decision, I would like to believe that the rest of them could take comfort in knowing that they had this one last fellowship meal outside the ministry activities to be with their friend, Jesus. And that is a lesson we all can take away from this Wednesday moment, let us frame our lives in such a way that we can reflect with a smile the moments we spend with each other as colleagues, family and friends.

What seems like on an uneventful Wednesday really was a sweet moment for the memory books for those in the room. We really don’t know, because it is not clearly stated but as we go through this Holy Week, let us consider what happened on Wednesday.

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:3-5 (NASB)

Sometimes I can get wrapped up pretty tight thinking about what others are doing that I feel like are wrong or offensive to me. It’s not something I am proud to admit, but I have to be honest with myself and with others.

Lately, I have been in a bit of a spiral about how someone I love has been knit-picky, argumentative, forgetful and generally getting under my skin (the world according to me). Thankfully, I have a child who doesn’t mind calling me out respectfully and also is full of wisdom. She reminded me of a few things and perhaps the key thing was that I actually have control of what my reactions can be and that it is important to choose not to get into conversations that I know are going nowhere fast. She also reminded me that some people are not going to change but we can change how we interact with them. Then finally she reminded me that I am also at a point in life where my perspective has changed due to aging and general life living. She did not directly point me to the text above, but when we finished talking, I felt better but I was also reminded that perhaps I have been very busy trying to remove a speck/splinter from someone else’s eyes while I was walking around with a log in my own eyes. It was a humbling but necessary talk and text for me.

We can easily decide what someone else should or should not be doing in their lives. We can make snap decisions about another person based on their appearances and their actions without once taking into consideration the how or why of their life story. Few and far between is the person who does not do this even a little bit. I hear it and see it almost daily. Even though I worked for twenty-five years in the court system and grew to understand that “there but for the grace of God, go I” as I listened to countless stories and cases, I can also fall into the habit of seeing the specks and ignoring the log. I can be prone to correcting people’s words, or expressing what I think people’s motivations are when I really don’t know. My work life experiences has put a level of cynicism in me that I am aware of and constantly trying to overcome, so when I hear it coming from someone else, it can irritate me. I don’t necessarily like to be corrected either. These are little things perhaps, but left uncheck they can quickly spiral into a very judgmental attitude that I recognize is not pleasing to God. He is the one true Judge of all, so my two-cents really don’t mean all that much.

I took a walk after that good conversation and all the above began to filter into my mind. That’s the way the Spirit works, He brings to our memory the commandments we need to successfully live out our faith. As I walked, I began to realize that some of the very things I was complaining about, I was engaging in as well. I had to have my personal confessional moment, get my heart re-set and begin again. I have a different approach right now, that I am praying the Lord will help me to continue with. I am also realizing that now I see I have a log in my own eyes that I am working to get rid of, I am not so inclined to even attempt to handle someone else’s speck. I think Jesus knew that when He gave this teaching. Furthermore, the idea of being a hypocrite is motivation enough for me to be on a continual search for my own logs and to let others handle their specks.