Some times the journey of life is challenging and for me lately, it has been a series of small bumps in the road that have had me weary and tired. It culminated one day last week after I experienced a wonderful, thought-provoking and inspiring event. It also brought me to a place of contemplating the meaning and purpose of the ministry God placed me in. I don’t question that God called me to the ministry, but honestly , there are times when I wonder if the ministry is what God intended it to be and if I am being what God intended me to be. The next day, I pulled out my “God journal” the one in which I speak to Him and His Spirit speaks through the pen to me. I put it all out there with tears to decorate the pages. I waited patiently for the answer and the answer came but not in an earth-shattering, enlightened manner that laid out God’s big picture for me as I had hoped God would do. Instead, the answer was a step-by-step set of instructions for me, much like God’s answer to Elijah after experiencing fear and defeat of spirit in the wilderness. The instructions were to put some things in my life in order and to keep doing the daily tasks that get things done. There was also the reminder to keep a Sabbath day before the Sunday rotations of sermons and services.

I love this story in the Old Testament because it speaks volumes about how God uses his people to accomplish His will and how so often we fail to see the big and grand scheme of things in God’s eyes. Elijah was probably exhausted after the showdown with the prophets of Baal and discouraged that the showdown did nothing to turn the heart of Ahab and Jezebel. Instead, he was running for his life, and instead of being executed by Jezebel, Elijah made the request to just die where he was, for God to take him out of his misery. Elijah’s journey with God was not over yet, but before God could give him the rest of the map for his life, he had to get Elijah in a place where he could truly hear what God had to say, thus the forty day journey through the desert, a night spent in a cave and then the encounter at the mouth of the cave. God would question Elijah’s reasoning for being there. Then He sent a windstorm, an earthquake and a fire. Yet God’s voice came after that, a soft whisper, that would lay out the rest of Elijah’s ministry journey.

I too, was exhausted from a variety of challenges that seemed to have nothing to do with anything except run me in circles, and while the event I attended was inspiring it also brought front and center just how small I feel sometimes in the ministry. God’s answer was to put me on a path of seemingly mundane tasks. I recognize they are preparing me to hear Him more clearly. Add to these tasks, the admonition of keeping a day set apart for resting in God and celebrating His good gifts towards me and now the beginning of Lent season in which my personal practice this season is intentionally meant to draw me even closer in towards God, I recognize that God is setting me up for a moment for His small whisper to come and guide me along the next mile of the way.

So I am getting up from the moment of self-pity I indulged in, following the instructions, waiting patiently on God and continuing on my journey. I don’t know what lies around the corner, I don’t know exactly where it is going but I do know that the God who provided for Elijah in his wilderness experience, will provide all I need to go the next mile of the way because My Journey Is Not Over.